Well it has been a crazy few months filled with new beginnings and bittersweet endings. Graduation from high school brought many joyful moments as I looked to the horizon called my future. Getting to move to a new city in a new state with new people and new opportunities (so much new) became exciting yet apprehension still lingered in many corners of my mind. As the questions, "what are you planning on studying?" and "what is your plan?" became more popular the apprehension began to establish residence in more areas of my mind. Overwhelmed was an understatement. Some of the things I felt were concrete began to slowly slip from my tight grip. Majors and careers flew out the window and I was left grasping for any bit of sanity concerning my academics. I knew I enjoyed photography, dance, traveling, and critiquing films but there was little concrete evidence left about my intended course of study...biology. I joined the ranks of hundreds (maybe a thousand) cavaliers who wanted to study bio in the fall. One of many, not unique, not different, not me. In my eighteen years I have continually strived to set myself apart from my peers; one of the many reasons I'm the only one attending UVA in the fall. The ending of senior year brought forth uncertainties I was not ready to deal with, but the storm of uncertainty, doubt, and apprehension has begun to fade into a stunning sunset.
Sunsets turn daylight into mysterious swirls of purple, pink, yellow, gold, orange, and blue. Each color serves to balance the others in one picture, yet each stands on its own. I look forward to sunsets, especially when I am only surrounded by nature. Recently I have taken time to surround myself with nature, putting away a huge distraction I call my iPhone. Nature is a pretty amazing, living metaphor for human existence. God is a pretty amazing artist and his canvas called earth can be examined to find some hidden truths. On my many recent road trips to the mountains and beach I have driven through storms. Storms with lightening and heart shattering thunder mixed with a good dose of pouring rain. Intense. During some of the storms I questioned whether they were going to lift. Storms create stress especially when the driver can't see a few feet in front of them. Yet the driver trusts and keeps following the flashing lights in front of them, knowing that if they tread lightly and cover the break they will remain on the safety of black pavement. Eventually the sun peaks from behind a cloud, the rain slows to a drizzle, and sometimes a rainbow or two appears. If the timing is right the sun starts to melt below the horizon and the sky becomes painted in unfathomable colors. Life.
We experience storms everyday. Storms that leave us waiting and hoping for a glimpse of sunshine. We work hard to overcome the difficulties, persevere, and fight. No matter what we are facing, in the end there are always joyful times of peace {the sunsets}. Sunsets are rewarding and make fighting the storm worthwhile. The brief moments experienced gawking at the color show unfurling around us are peaceful and the pace of life slows. Storms are exhausting and leave us wanting a little bit of sunshine and clear skies. Even when the end doesn't seem near the sun randomly appears and creates a sunset or rainbow to be enjoyed by the passerby. No matter how nasty or awful the storm is, it always dissipates and dissolves into something more magnificent. Using nature as a source for understanding life has been pretty cool and has opened many doors to opportunity. My uncertainty and doubt has melted into joy and anticipation as I begin my next journey. I am truly excited because I know that God has something wonderful planned. All of my apprehension has been transformed into understanding.
One of my favorite authors, Judah Smith (he lives in Seattle so he's got to be pretty cool) just wrote a book called Life is ____ and he commented, "The real problem isn't that we have a lot going on. Rather, it's the attitudes that these things produce in us: busyness, urgency, anxiety, worry, and stress. And the antidote is the peace that God gives." He urges the reader to sit at the feet of Jesus and seek Him as the source of peace. This is my challenge and something I have been continuing to work on. During the storms trust that Jesus is going to bring forth a sunset or sunrise and understand that His timing is better than our own.
|| Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Psalm 143:8 ||
